Free Jokes R Us

Three old guys are out walking.

The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”

The second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!”

The third one says, “So am I.  Let’s go get a beer.”

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A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid.  It
cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art.  It’s
perfect.”

“Really,” answered the neighbour.  “What kind is it?”

“ Twelve thirty.”

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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re
really doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: “Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful.”“

The doctor said, “I didn’t say that.  I said, “You’ve got a heart
murmur; be careful.”

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And one more ...

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool…

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?”

“No,” he replied, “Arthritis.”

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