Three old guys are out walking.
The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
The second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!”
The third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
*********************************************************************************** A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” answered the neighbour. “What kind is it?”
“ Twelve thirty.”
***********************************************************************************
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: “Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”“
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, “You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.”
***********************************************************************************
And one more ... A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool…
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?” “No,” he replied, “Arthritis.”
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