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Written by Cosmic   
Friday, 09 October 2009 12:17

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

  • Smart man + smart woman = romance
  • Smart man + dumb woman = affair
  • Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
  • Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

  • Smart boss + smart employee = profit
  • Smart boss + dumb employee = production
  • Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
  • Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

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SHOPPING MATH

  • A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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HAPPINESS

  • To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
  • To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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LONGEVITY

  • Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

  • Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

 

 

 

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Last Updated on Friday, 09 October 2009 12:45
 

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