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Paddy and Mick PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Cosmic   
Monday, 15 February 2010 11:37

Paddy and Mick

 

Paddy and Mick go to London  to donate sperm. It was a disaster!
Paddy missed the tube and  Mick came on the bus!

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

A Muslim was sitting next  to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey.
The stewardess asked the  Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust  "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my  lips!"

Paddy handed his drink  back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a  choice!"

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

Paddy calls Easyjet to  book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying  with you ?"

Paddy replies "I don't  know! Its your plane!"

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Paddy and Murphy are  working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm  gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm  mad!"

He climbs up the rafters  , hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A  LIGHTBULB!"
Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts "Paddy  you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his  kit up to leave as well.

"Where the hell are you  going?" asks the Foreman.

"I can't work in the  bloody dark!" says Murphy..

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

Two Irish couples decided  to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex,  Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting  on"

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Paddy takes his new wife  to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the  bed spreadeagled and says "You know what I want don't you  ?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The  whole bloody bed by the looks of it!"

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Q. What's a Catholic  priest and a pint of Guiness got in common?

A. A black coat, white  collar and you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy  one!

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

Paddy, the electrician,  got sacked from the U.S. Prison service for not servicing the  electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a  death trap!

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

Paddy, the Irish  boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was  asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which  point Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she wasn't that  tall!"

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

Paddy and his wife are  lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the  garden.. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms  off.

He comes back upstairs 5  minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do  ?"

Paddy replies "I've put  the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like  it!"

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------

Mick and Paddy are  reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick say "Crikey! There's a  bloke here who was 152!"

Paddy says "What's his  name ?"

Mick replies "Miles, from  London !"

-----------------------------oOo-----------------------------
 

 

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Last Updated on Monday, 15 February 2010 11:37
 

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