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Golf Humour 2 PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Cosma Papouis   
Friday, 23 July 2010 09:18
I was three over. One over a house, one
over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.

~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a

one- iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took

a 7 to do that.


~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has

the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie..


~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can

enjoy even if you're not good at them.


~ Kevin Costner


I don't fear death, but I sure don't like

those three-footers for par..


~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing

for me to play on the American golf tour.

Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand

wedge and he came back ten minutes

later with a ham on rye.


~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to

get my putter out of the tree.


~ Brian Weis


Swing hard in case you hit it.


~ Dan Marino


My favorite shots are the practice swing

and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. 

~
Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful

partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.


~ Jack Benny


There is no similarity between golf and

putting; they are two different games,

one played in the air, and the other on the ground.


~ Ben Hogan


Professional golf is the only sport where,

if you win 20% of the time, you're the best


~ Jack Nicklaus


The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.


~ H G Wells


I never pray on a golf course. Actually,

the Lord answers my prayers everywhere

except on the course.   

~
Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play

at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf..


~ Bob Hope


While playing golf today I hit two good balls.

I stepped on a rake.


~ Henny Youngman

If you think it's hard to meet new people,

try picking up the wrong golf ball..


~
Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game.

Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so

rich that neither of their husbands work..


~
Lee Trevino

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but

if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.


~ Lee Trevino


 

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Last Updated on Friday, 23 July 2010 09:28
 

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