Free Jokes R Us

then by golly you best be on guard!  The squeezer, however, retains the right to either squeeze or not to squeeze!
Sarasota, Florida

Unfortunately, the only strap working on this entire outfit is the one holding that hideous hair in place.

Is that former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker's wife or is that Paul Volcker?
Los Angeles, California



Don't laugh!  Its okay, because Bambi's granddaughter borrowed her skirt.  Plus, today is combination Casual Friday and Crazy Hair Day, all rolled in to one.
College Station,  Texas



Apparently, Lester Flem doesn't know whether he's homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual.

However, if you look up the word 'Transgender' in the dictionary...BINGO!!!!  There you will see a picture of dear old flaming Lester in his boots.

Laguna Niguel, California



Where exactly does one buy a short pink outfit like this to beef shop in?
Birmingham, Alabama



So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical Popeye enthusiast OR i?1/2.... well, fill in anything.

It really doesn't matter, because nothing we say will make any sense.  Who lets these people out of the house un-championed?
Destin, Florida



Those purple shorts are HOT! I saw those same shorts one time on an elephant in a circus in Belarus.  The house shoes make the outfit!
Columbus, Ohio



Whatever happened to No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?  Is that a turban on his head or a serving of Jiffy-Pop?

Is the girl in the background taking a picture or teaching the guy in the black wife beater T-shirt to play, "Here is the church and here is the steeple.  Open it up and here are the people!"

Is the chick in the green bikini top putting on makeup?  Honey, you should have saved your money and purchased either a T-shirt or a case of Slim Fast.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana



Agerton?  Is that you?  What do you expect me to say?  That's exactly what he looks like from the rear.  True, I've never seen Agerton in heels.

Still, if I told you there is a picture where purple hair is the least weird thing going on, would you believed me?  Honestly, is that a man or a woman or is Lester Flem back in the store?

Mobile , Alabama



Britney Spears has done let herself go again.
Slidell, Louisiana



Dear Mrs. Razzlebone-Karbofski, it was cute to dress your boys Festus and Cletus alike when they were two years old, but at 45?

Well, not so much!  ...... Suddenly, Festus says, "Hey, Cletus, I been thankin.  If my truck could travel faster than the speed of light, would my headlights work?"
Tifton, Georgia



I am so embarrassed.  Seriously, I have no idea how this photo of my son's 5th Grade history teacher and part-time Gun Care Instructor,  Miss Cinnamon Goodpicker,  got mixed in with this roll of film.
Katy, Texas



Packing this rear in camouflage shorts is like trying to hide an elephant behind a squirrel.
Seattle, Washington



For some reason, I have to assume that no matter where Zebulon goes, Dueling Banjos suddenly starts playing from out of nowhere.
Atmore, Alabama



And men claim they can't meet classy women in stores?  Go figure!
Louisville, Kentucky



Is that a THONG Ollie Hopnoddle is wearing?  I can't look again or I'll go blind.

Mountain Brook , Alabama



For my own sanity, I have to assume that Gussie Klothgrunt is shoplifting two pork roasts in her shirt.

Simply because there is no possible way that can be anything other than two pork roasts in her shirt.  Can't be!
Forestdale, Alabama

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