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Written by Cosmic   
Sunday, 15 August 2010 20:40

These are pretty clever.

"No God--No Peace.

Know God--Know Peace."


"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"


"Try our Sundays. They are better than


Baskin-Robbins."


"Searching for a new look? Have your


faith lifted here!"


An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church


has a picture

of two hands holding stone tablets

on which the Ten Commandments

are inscribed and a headline that reads,

"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."


When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church

put out a big sign with red letters that said,

"Open Sundays,"

the church reciprocated with its own message:

"We are open on Sundays, too."


"Have trouble sleeping?


We have sermons--come hear one!"


A singing group called "The Resurrection"


was scheduled to sing at a church. When


a big snowstorm postponed the performance,


the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The


Resurrection is postponed."


"People are like tea bags--you have to put them


in hot water before you know how strong they are."



"God so loved the world that He did not send a


committee."


"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"


"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He


came out all right."



"Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."


"Fight truth decay--study the Bible daily."


"How will you spend eternity


--Smoking or Non-smoking?"


"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"


"Come work for the Lord. The work is


hard, the hours are long, and the pay is


low. But the retirement benefits are


out of this world."


"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction


in the wages of sin."



"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to


church."


"If you're headed in the wrong direction,


God allows U-turns."



"Looking at the way some people live,


they ought to obtain

eternal fire insurance soon."


"This is a ch_ _ch. What is missing?"


"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."


"In the dark? Follow the Son."

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Last Updated on Sunday, 15 August 2010 21:25
 

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