Free Jokes R Us

Husband and wife are lying quietly

in bed reading when the wife looks

over at him and asks the question:

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died?

Would you get married again?'

HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'

WIFE: 'Why not?  Don't you like

being married?'

HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'

WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'

HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married

again.'

WIFE: 'You would? (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'

HUSBAND: 'Sure. It's a great house.'

WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our

bed?'

HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'

WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'

HUSBAND: 'Probably. It is almost new.'

WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures

with hers?'

HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the

proper thing to do.'

WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'

HUSBAND: 'No. I'm sure she'd want

her own.'

WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing

with you?'

HUSBAND: 'Yes. Those are always

good times.'

WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs?'

HUSBAND: 'No. She's left-handed.'

WIFE: - silence -

HUSBAND: '. . . Shit.'

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