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Cowboy Rules For: PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Cosmic   
Tuesday, 22 March 2011 13:38

Cowboy Rules For:

Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado,
New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah,
Nebraska, Idaho, and  the rest of the
Wild West, are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck
because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your
Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to
us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10, I-20, I-30 & I-40 go east and west, I-17, I-35, I-45 & I-15 goes
north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. 
We have $250,000 Combines that
are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. 
It's called being friendly. 
Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch 
of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in 
during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. 
You better hope you don't have it up to your ear 
at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. 
You really want sushi and caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. 
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday 
to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. 
That's applied to all women, 
regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. 
Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad 
and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:
meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: 
salt, pepper, and ketchup! 
Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati 
call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. If You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, 
wet and served over ice.
If You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here 
as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. 
But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That awfull 
thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway.
We don't want to hear it anymore than 
we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others 
and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but 
we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin 
to understand what a real life is all about!!!




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