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Just Like That... PDF Print E-mail
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Written by Cosmic   
Wednesday, 29 January 2014 17:46

 

Just Like That

Got invited to a party and was
told to dress to kill.

Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.


Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.


Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.


Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.


A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt . Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...


Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.


Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!


In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.


Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple
from Weymouth



Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.



A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?' Granny replies, blow the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!



Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?' Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!



My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.



I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit



Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.



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Last Updated on Wednesday, 29 January 2014 18:17
 

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