Headlines from the year 2030...........? Print
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Written by Cosmic   
Wednesday, 23 November 2011 16:35

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030...........? 

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions .

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families
bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa:
Sharia law must be enforced. 

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales
are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.
UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of LSPC
says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.

Britain's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years
which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims
increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.

Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank,
Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED):
Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch. 

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least
ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten year £75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labour Party:
Scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed so
they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights.
Victims to be held only partly responsible for crime. 

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.





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Last Updated on Wednesday, 23 November 2011 16:35